Something amazing happend to me the other day and I haven't spoken of it to this point even to the most important people in my life (Rikki & Kayden). It's not that I was ashamed or embarrased or scared that I didn't share this unique moment in my life. It was not that I was shy or excited or even trying to hide something. The fact is I haven't slept well since the "incident" and I really just wanted to put a little more thought into before I brought it out into the world. However the problem that I have had is that I have put hours of thought into it and I can't put my finger on exactly what happend so my only option is to write about it and see if I can draw the answer out here.
So what exactly happened? It started with a dream. A series of dreams actually. I have been having a similar dream with minor differences for a week or so. It starts out with me watching myself sleep and I am trying to see something. I am not exactly sure what it is I think is going to happen or what it is I think I am going to see. Not quiet as exciting as you thought it would be is it? That's pretty much the whole dream. I stand or maybe I am not even standing just outside my body looking in on myself. These dreams bothered me because I couldn't figure out 1. Why they were reoccuring and 2. What exactly did it mean? I spent a few days trying to figure this out obviously some changes in my life were taking place deep in my subconscious mind and being the Capricorn that I am I wanted to get a jump start on them. After a few thoughts and theory's that didn't quite stick or seem to make much sense, I gave up and went on with my days.
Ok here is where it gets a little wierd so if you thought I was a normal person before this, (you obviously don't know me very well) then you should just stop reading now because your opinon of me could be forever skewed.
Still here?
It happened. The dream actually happend but I was not asleep. I was at work and for some fragment of time that I can't even measure, for as long as it took me to realize it somewhere between instant and less than 1 second, I saw myself. This was very brief like a flash or even shorter. It just was and then it wasn't. Maybe it only happened in my mind or maybe it was the amount of thought I had put into the dream but real or not I was on the outside looking in. The manifestation of this dream (even if it was possibly only a day dream) has brought so many questions to my mind. Tonight I went to dinner with 2 people that I love to be around and usually can't stop talking when I am around either one of them. I think I was unusually silent. I can't get my mind off of this and yet I can't quite wrap my mind around it. Now I question and ponder. Was it real? Was it a dream so real that I belive it actually happened? Or am I trying to tell myself to take a deep look at myself. To step aside and look into my soul through another pair of eyes.
Well there it is. Out there to the world. In case you are curious writing it all out didn't actually answer any questions for me, infact it actually created more.
More to come I suppose.
=Dave
No comments:
Post a Comment