Two thousand and then....

Two Thousand and Ten where to begin, can't wait till' it ends.

This year is finally over and what a controversial, roller coaster, bastard of a bad ass year. In 2010 I have hit some of my lowest lows and highest highs. Like Dramamine in coffee at the end I am left feeling like I just came out of the washing machine set to warm / cold. All I can do at this point is look around and pretend I knew what I was doing all along but inside my head I am screaming from the top of my brains lungs.... Double You Tee Eff!!!!!

January. Light Wind. The beginning of this year was amazing. In a major soul search I decided that I should enter some snowboarding competitions and I had great success. I joined Team Utah and made some incredible new friends. 2010 was about to be my year.

February. Strong Wind Advisory. After hearing the news that I had made nationals I was filled with a super caffeine charged will to charge life and take on the world. Had I paid any attention at all I would realize that things were about to change forever.

March. Tornado. Nationals came so fast and my time spent in Winter Park meeting some of the most interesting people on earth, competing for a national championship, and dropping 2,000 vertical foot powder runs starting above tree line at 13,000 feet. I was soaring.... So high. What goes up must come down.

April. Earthquake. The end of a long run with someone I once considered a friend, companion, and team mate. Maybe I should have seen it coming. I knew I was unhappy I assumed she was unhappy but I thought this was the way life was supposed to be. People are never really happy together are they? After all we had our problems from the get go and tried to work through them in a half assed sort "I will tolerate you if you will tolerate me" type of way.

Now the storm really starts to shake my world.

End of April. She is gone I should be sad... I am not sad... I am not mad... I am not happy... I am not... I am not really anything.

Enter Brad and Ivo

Now I am learning to fly. Literally fly. I could be cliche here and say that I had broken wings and learned to fly again but they weren't broken things were just different and now they were really different. Suddenly Monday's were the best days of the week. Soaring around the South Side learning the skills I needed to take to the sky on my own. Every morning hoping for a North side weekday where I could soar the ridge by myself trying so hard to understand Ivo over the radio.

May. Supernova. Enter Jessie. She comes to play ping pong and I smile. She comes to watch me fly and I run faster than I have before. I want to take off and show her how high I can go... I had not yet realized that she would soon take me higher than my glider ever could.

June. Sunshine. Summer is cruising a long and Jessie and I have so many adventure marks on the board.

July. Cool breeze. Things are really kicking into high gear now. Back and forth up up up up up UP. Every day my smile gets bigger and the more I get to know her the more I realize people are not meant to be unhappy together... People are meant to have this.

August. Light breeze. Of course in August I start to get excited for the snowboard season a little too early so just through that emotion in with the rest and the baking soda and vinegar effect starts to come to the surface.

September. Volcano. Things are really starting to become unreal for me. A summer of something that had to go to make room for something I needed more than I need air. A summer of flying to the top of the mountain. After a winter of standing at 10,420' with a $2 bill about to send it off to my Great Grandmother who passed away. As the weather began to cool my thoughts raced on to the potential of this season and where my life with Jessie was about to go. Oh how my life is going in the perfect direction and then without warning... Hot volcanic ash poured from my heart and rain from my eyes as I received the news. My Grandmother, Pat, Ablin, The rock in our family, the one I could go to... Had stopped suffering. In the inevitable fight against Cancer you can never win you can only stay in the fight for as long as you can hang on to the simplest concept. Hope.

October. Undertow. Nothing seems real at this point. The season is moving in Jessie and I have talked... She is moving in we are ready. More than ready. We try to set a date in November but have a hard time making it as we begin to move a few things here and there until we might as well call it what it is... We took the big step. My life is in the current now and we are going forward into a new light.

November. Rain. Jessie is all moved in and my house is a home. We spend our first Thanksgiving together and our first few days on the mountain. Everything is perfect.

December. GODZILLA ATTACK! December moves so quickly with me working so much. There are complications with the snowboard team but I keep pushing forward. There are complications with work but I keep pushing forward. There are complications with school but I keep pushing forward. There are complications with my finances but I keep pushing forward. There are complications with my health but I keep pushing forward. This world is a complicated place but I keep pushing forward. Now I am tired as I sit here thinking, "I wonder if the world will rest on my shoulders again in 2011." I want to smack myself. I am exhausted, I am broken down, my will is defeated, and all I can think about is the struggle. I am such an idiot. I have spent so much time in the worry in the stress in and wondering what will happen next I have let the important things pass me by. I will be 30 in 2011 and I have so much to live for. Jessie, Kayden, A wonderful mother, the best friends, I have a job, a roof over my head, snowboarding is amazing, I can fly... This list goes on. Which brings me to my New Years Resolution.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION 2011: This year I will live in the important moments. I will not worry about the future as control is just an illusion. I will cherish every kiss from Jessie, I will be proud of every turn Kayden links on the hill, I will spend more time with my mother, I will be a better friend, I will challenge myself more on the mountain, I will fly higher on my glider, I will achieve great success in school and the beautiful thing is that it will not take any effort. All I have to do is enjoy each moment I have on this earth as each one is an absolute gift. That being said... I am going to go pull up on the couch next to her and enjoy this one.

Happy New Year Everyone.

If words could talk...

Hanging on to the edge of this I find it hard to not let go,
I want to fall down this paper, smear it with black ink that makes sense to only you
I am the words that have been trying to pour like syrup thick and full
Like everything you need but didn't expect to find in me
I will flow in cursive left to right and end with question marks
Followed by remarks from my heart that yield exclamation points
Reaching out to you I have only these words for you to catch
I scream from the top of my crossed t's and dotted i's, can you hear me?
I will capitalize for your attention! I need you to see this!
In the clearest font, this can't missed, italic and bold.
But how can I say it when those adjectives don't exist?
E x 12 is the best I can do when I try to write it out.
Falling down this paper I fell so fast and far.
These words, I have carried with me to the bottom of this page,
Hoping they made it safely and find their way to you...
Take them.

=Dave

Selfish...

Why is being selfish looked at as such a bad thing when it is in our very nature our very instinct. If you want to know the best thing to do in any situation just imagine how you would react in an emergency, this is when your touch and feel side goes out the window and your survival natural animalistic God given instinct takes over. This instinct is what we do without thinking because it is what we know deep down in a place we cannot access MUST be done. So why is it so wrong to think that this is how we should be all the time? Have we let our society make us believe that it is wrong? If you are on an airplane with your children and the cabin loses pressure and the o2 masks drop what do you do first? According to the flight attendants you first secure your mask and then help your children and those around you. Do you know why this is the correct order? You can't help anyone if you are dying! This goes for our lives we are always so quick to help others because it's the humane thing to do but often times we are trying to fix others while we are still broken. This logic is flawed. We are doing an injustice to ourselves as well as those that we are trying to help (Most of the time people help for selfish reasons anyway even recognition falls into this category.) This is why I believe most relationships fail. Fix you. Be you. Live as you. Once you are so comfortable in your own skin that you can be independently happy without anyone else in your life then and only then will you realize your true relationships and seek out the greatest life you can possibly live. I am urging all of you to go out and be selfish. Live for you and live for now because that is the only way you can ever give pure joy to another.

=Dave

Visual Stimulation

Today I have been thinking a lot about life and possibly more importantly about death. There are a few quotes that are stuck in my head beating like a rhythm drum over and over and over until I begin to dance to them.

1. "It's not a tragedy to die doing what you love" -Patrck Swayze as Bhodi in Point Break.

2. "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." ~Author unknown

3. "If I am not flying or kiting I often ask myself what I am doing on this planet." The late Mathias Roten

29.5 years old and now it begins. Yes I have had my scars and I have had my lessons. I am like many my age, in debt and confused about the future, perhaps even a little frightened. However I am unlike so many others of any age in that I can take a task and put all of life's meaning into it until the rest becomes null.

When I strap my bindings on and drop in to a vertical decent or actively engage in a dance with the wind while ridge soaring a glider I am there for that moment and that moment could be the rest of my life without waste.

Horizontal landscapes of snow and ice melt into the birds eye view of a summer dusk.
These things I see and cannot share.
I have only words to help you escape into my mind.
My only regret is that I am not strong enough to take you with me.
Wildlife fills the peripheral inspiration, the fox, the moose, and porcupine.
The horizon looks so much different from here.
300' from the earth to a 12,000 ft mountain peak rising above the tree line.
This is my kingdom, my home, my studio. The greatest work from these heights
Higher and deeper further I climb and sink, rise above and then descend.
Cold frozen stars smash into my face, floating on top of the frozen slope
Faster, faster, faster, and off of the edge into the sky....
I have entered my life and now I am living.

=Dave

High

The cycle is here, I have been waiting for this feeling the wind on the back of my neck rolling down my spine to a lull and then back again.

Is this it? Is this my turn to connect. Breath is calm feet firmly planted on the ground ready for control.

Pulling, pulling up as the canopy lunges over head wishing to travel with the wind but the balancing act and subtle inputs tell it "No stay with me, stay here, we are in this together."

We dance on the edge of the mountain feeling the tension, letting it fly. We must know that we are in sync. The trust must be formed with truth and commitment.

Turning and looking out at the horizon we can see the land below but that is not our destination. The Monday morning traffic on the freeway suggests I should be somewhere else, they always tell me I should be somewhere else.

Here I am and there is no better time, torpedo position and running hard, feeling control lines and pushing through, pushing so hard, running, heart beating, loud noises, gravity is showing me it's unwillingness to let go, and then... "LAUNCHING!"

And now it's quiet....

So quiet the only sound I hear is the breeze and everything else disappears. I am alone in the sky with my thoughts.

This feeling, it's not what I expected, and it's nothing I have ever felt before. How can I describe this feeling, am I high? The creators of adjectives must have never known our feet could leave the ground because they have left this one out.

I have flown, I am a pilot and now I know...

Life before this day was different and will never be the same. I know what it feels like to touch my soul and I know I am not alone.

I am going up now, I am going up for good to soar and to only come back down to make sure the ground is still here.

The bonds that I have formed over the last few months are real. A change has occurred and my life is now.... my life.

Flying brings out the best in me and I know that the more I go up the higher I get.

New friends, new bonds, new emotions, new life.

This next chapter going forward will be the greatest yet and I can't wait for you to be a part of it every step of the way.

The Obsession...

When the leaves fall off the trees and most see a dark cold world and begin their hibernation for the next 2 seasons my eyes light up, my heart begins to race, and I again am a child. Once again I dream and I know that despite all odds... Everything will be ok, everything is now in my hands or feet if you will.

When you look to the hills covered in white what do you see? When others see a shovel and a hectic commute I only see the most beautiful sight that nature has given us the opportunity and the privilege to take in with every sense we poses.

You may think I am crazy for my love and obsession with the winter mountains but you may just be missing something that is right in your backyard. There is so much more to the power of the snowflake in numbers than you could ever imagine.

The Challenge: Racing is the purest form of self testing. The rules are simple and the game is clearly defined. Be the first to the bottom. Beat your fellow man, Beat yourself, Beat the clock. The variables are limited and the truth is all that is left between the gates. Racing gives me the ability to be better than I have ever been to focus my mind on one thing for a short period of time. The focus that it brings me is so intense I only wish I could transfer this focus into my day to day. The thrill of traveling faster than I should be, negotiating gates, and make decisions in under a second helps me become the best I can possibly be.

The Adventure: Freeriding allows me to express myself and who I am. This is something that no bad economy, no war over seas, and no bad day at work can ever take from me. The art of moving sliding across the cold snow to paint a perfect picture that can only be seen by me. To let loose and say HELLO world when I want to launch off of a kicker or spin off of a wall. This is the only true testament to my freedom. I owe nothing to this day and it owes nothing to me but there is a mutal respect to be something great.

The Truth: Only once you have done it can you ever understand what it means to set down first tracks on a powder day. This is the closest I have ever been to flying, to myself, and to GOD. Ask yourself "Who am I" and then take on the back country, when the slope of the double black and the navigation of the tree lines floating in peace, harmony and danger, spit you out on the other side you WILL have an answer.

You see while some under paid and over worked phone rep is demon dialing my phone to remind me that some insignificant bill that I was over charged on was due 40 seconds ago... I am living and I do not care. I take a look at my surrounds these trees are my cubicle, this run is my office, and this board is my pen and I am about to sign my name. I have a connection that starts with the cold snow transferring energy to the plank and right on to the bindings that ensure my feet stay true and in position up to my legs that respond to my mind taking directions from my eyes while I feel the cool breeze zipping by nose with the sun shine on my face and suddenly realize... it all comes down to heart.

-Dave Jungst