When the leaves fall off the trees and most see a dark cold world and begin their hibernation for the next 2 seasons my eyes light up, my heart begins to race, and I again am a child. Once again I dream and I know that despite all odds... Everything will be ok, everything is now in my hands or feet if you will.
When you look to the hills covered in white what do you see? When others see a shovel and a hectic commute I only see the most beautiful sight that nature has given us the opportunity and the privilege to take in with every sense we poses.
You may think I am crazy for my love and obsession with the winter mountains but you may just be missing something that is right in your backyard. There is so much more to the power of the snowflake in numbers than you could ever imagine.
The Challenge: Racing is the purest form of self testing. The rules are simple and the game is clearly defined. Be the first to the bottom. Beat your fellow man, Beat yourself, Beat the clock. The variables are limited and the truth is all that is left between the gates. Racing gives me the ability to be better than I have ever been to focus my mind on one thing for a short period of time. The focus that it brings me is so intense I only wish I could transfer this focus into my day to day. The thrill of traveling faster than I should be, negotiating gates, and make decisions in under a second helps me become the best I can possibly be.
The Adventure: Freeriding allows me to express myself and who I am. This is something that no bad economy, no war over seas, and no bad day at work can ever take from me. The art of moving sliding across the cold snow to paint a perfect picture that can only be seen by me. To let loose and say HELLO world when I want to launch off of a kicker or spin off of a wall. This is the only true testament to my freedom. I owe nothing to this day and it owes nothing to me but there is a mutal respect to be something great.
The Truth: Only once you have done it can you ever understand what it means to set down first tracks on a powder day. This is the closest I have ever been to flying, to myself, and to GOD. Ask yourself "Who am I" and then take on the back country, when the slope of the double black and the navigation of the tree lines floating in peace, harmony and danger, spit you out on the other side you WILL have an answer.
You see while some under paid and over worked phone rep is demon dialing my phone to remind me that some insignificant bill that I was over charged on was due 40 seconds ago... I am living and I do not care. I take a look at my surrounds these trees are my cubicle, this run is my office, and this board is my pen and I am about to sign my name. I have a connection that starts with the cold snow transferring energy to the plank and right on to the bindings that ensure my feet stay true and in position up to my legs that respond to my mind taking directions from my eyes while I feel the cool breeze zipping by nose with the sun shine on my face and suddenly realize... it all comes down to heart.
-Dave Jungst
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
No return address.
It is slower in the silence, rest beneath my wake
I would still breathe if the 11th hour came
Dancing is all I have left to soon regret
These hands have fallen heavy onto my face
Endlessly falling, writing when I know it's only wrong
Drive me out of this senseless window painting
Boredom is the past time which I believe in most
Now that I have seen rain fall in the blue skies
I believe I have seen all that really matters
I can still dream that I believe in memories
And she is the one who can coax the sunshine
They are the first to downgrade my happiness
Ask me why I am smiling when the world is crashing down
Dividing we multiply our subtraction, add up the difference
When will people start living when they only feel like dying now
When I opened my mind I was sure that I would spill it out
I never expected to owe myself this joy
Maybe I am caught between I could mull this over
To think about, to consider, to ruminate
For now I save the big decisions for the daylight
Place me in a bowl and turn the water on.
Observe me so I will not make my mistake this time
I have wanted all that I have ever had
I have everything I have ever wanted within these walls
The window to my left provides the great escape
I want everything, I need everything, I have everything
I have everything to lose.
=Dave
I would still breathe if the 11th hour came
Dancing is all I have left to soon regret
These hands have fallen heavy onto my face
Endlessly falling, writing when I know it's only wrong
Drive me out of this senseless window painting
Boredom is the past time which I believe in most
Now that I have seen rain fall in the blue skies
I believe I have seen all that really matters
I can still dream that I believe in memories
And she is the one who can coax the sunshine
They are the first to downgrade my happiness
Ask me why I am smiling when the world is crashing down
Dividing we multiply our subtraction, add up the difference
When will people start living when they only feel like dying now
When I opened my mind I was sure that I would spill it out
I never expected to owe myself this joy
Maybe I am caught between I could mull this over
To think about, to consider, to ruminate
For now I save the big decisions for the daylight
Place me in a bowl and turn the water on.
Observe me so I will not make my mistake this time
I have wanted all that I have ever had
I have everything I have ever wanted within these walls
The window to my left provides the great escape
I want everything, I need everything, I have everything
I have everything to lose.
=Dave
Sunday, March 29, 2009
About the blogs posted to this point...
I just transferred all of this from my Myspace. Most of it is old some of it is new and it is really not in any order. Enjoy or don't I promise it gets better.
=Dave
=Dave
Playlists
I decided I needed to make some new playlists. Some of you may or may not know that my iPod was recently jacked so I was trying to make an audio CD. My goal was to make a "Best of Mike Doughty" album and have it fit onto 1 Album. Ha Good luck there. I got 32 songs into it and thought... I may need to trim this back a little bit.
Just for my sake here is the playlist: (This isn't really part of the blog I just added it for dramatic effect)
1. $300 - Soul Coughing - El Oso
2. 4 out of 5 - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
3. 40 grand in the hole - Mike Dought y- Rockity Roll
4. All the Dirt -Mike Doughty - Skittish
5. American Car - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
6. Down on the river by the Sugar plant - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
7. Fully Retractable - Soul Coughing - El Oso
8. Get Along - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
9. Grey Ghost - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
10. Houston - Soul Coughing - El Oso
11. I failed to use it - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
12. I hear the bells - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
13. I miss the girl - Soul Coughing - El Oso
14. Looking at the world from the bottom of a well - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
15. Madeline & Nine - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
16. Misinformed - Soul Coughing - El Oso
17. Real Love / It's only Life - Mike Doughty - Skittish
18. Rising Sign - Mike Doughty - Skittish
19. Sleepless - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
20. So Far I Have Not Found A Science - Soul Coughing - El Oso
21. Soft Serve - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
22. Ways + Means - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
23. Where have you Gone? - Mike Doughty - Skittish
Now I had to cut a lot to make that fit and it was not very easy.
Moving on.
My sister graduated today. I knew she would do it but she seemed to have some doubters. Maybe I just give her too much credit. I have to tell you seeing her in that cap and gown made me think back to my graduation and what was going through my mind. What would change? Where was I going? Did I really have to get my shit together now? It was very strange being at a graduation 8 years after my own. She looked like a woman though I will say that. My little sister is not so little anymore it's not such an easy thing to take. Maybe I should have set a better example... or maybe I should have set a worse example to show her what not to do I don't' know and who really does? What will I do in the case of my own son? How will I keep him out of the influence and put him on a path to success?........
I am curious as to how many readers actually made it this far. I know I have a tendency to ramble and my mind wanders. Its just the grey ghost that I call home.
Pasta for 1. It sounds so wrong but I need to fake the will to get along. I have made my happy home on the hill. It just feels so empty 90% of the time. Just me no dog no wife mostly no kids just me and my pasta for 1. Only problem is the Recipe always calls for 4 and that is something that has fucked with my head now for awhile. (NOTE: I Left this in the blog because it says a lot about the way I was feeling when I originally wrote this but this part has changed DRAMATICALLY)
I've got the will to drive myself sleepless. I like to make lists. Everything I do I could make a list for. As long as I type it and not write it out by hand I know what I am talking about. Someone recently looked at one of my lists that was hand written and asked, "What is 1 Don Andrew?" It actually said, "iPod adaptor" Nice. Guess I got scratched by a chicken in my youth. This actually happend on Court's wedding day so lets talk about that in the next chapter.....
Court AKA DOxOption AKA ORT, This Guy... can be described in 2 and only 2 words. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH BUDDY!!!!!!!!" I used to hang with this kid way back when. In fact me Court and Nick were inseparable and an easier time in life. We would hang out at the Larson's house listening to DOWNSET and Minor Threat and get all riled up. On one fatefully day Nick took it a bit far and decided Court should be caned. The mark exits to this day. I have so many memories of these kids from Ski-Blitz to grafiti to amateur computer crimes. I taught Court how to type for Christ's sake and even introduced him to his first BBS. DOx For life son. I am glad you did it. Sara is a good woman for putting up with your shit. Court and Sara what a cute couple I have just one more story to tell about these 2 fools. One night (Halloween 06) I accompanied them to a Halloween party of which I didn't know a single person there except for those 2. They went as Mario and Princess I went as a Crayon it was adorable. After a long night of drinking Court couldn't stand anymore and wanted to fight everyone (nothing unusual so far) I decided it would be best if I drove the big ass Nissan home since Court and Sara were both covering 1 eye to walk. Unfortunately for me they decided to fight and argue the entire way home. You see Sara wanted to go to a bar (Even know it was way past last call) and Court wanted to go home. I was driving and wanted to go home so I won. About half way home just as I was about to yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!" *poof* instant silence and then... Court began to snore I looked in the back seat to say "Hey Sara look Court fought with you until he passed out" but the funny thing was She was passed out and drooling herself. The cutest thing ever the couple had fought themselves to sleep. They were made for each other.
I don't mind worry following me like a dinosaur. I have come to realize that I am going to have to live my life fighting with my own mind and a fair amount of worry and stress over nothing. I am my own worst enemy. What do I stress the worst? What I mean to all of you. I worry so much that I am sitting here in this big house by myself and nobody is thinking of me or wondering what I am doing. "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down" The truth is I have a lot of Great people in my life. I think about most of you non-stop and what you have meant to my life and my journey. There is no way I could go without a single one of you. I do not want to De-cathect. I need this. What happened to the steps and the list we were getting so far until my mind got involved. I would like to float again.
My younger brother finally got that DUI that most of you were expecting. He hit a parked semi and the semi moved at least 4 feet. The driver reported "no survivors" The ambulance cut my brother out of the car with the Jaws of life and took him to the hospital, broken bones, stitches and a bloody t-shirt. He is ok but sadly it doesn't even phase him. I fear I will lose him soon. He's not struck dumb he's just dumb that's all. When do you give up hope on family? You really never can. I worry about both of my brothers and my sister and I wonder about my mother that worries about us all. The odds of survival for any of us are slim. So far we are 4 for 4 though. Knock Knock Wood.
Well that's it kids. That's all I have to say. A whole lot of nothing I hope I have killed your time effectively. When you are down and out just remember these words, "It's only money. You can always make more tomorrow"
<3 Dave
Just for my sake here is the playlist: (This isn't really part of the blog I just added it for dramatic effect)
1. $300 - Soul Coughing - El Oso
2. 4 out of 5 - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
3. 40 grand in the hole - Mike Dought y- Rockity Roll
4. All the Dirt -Mike Doughty - Skittish
5. American Car - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
6. Down on the river by the Sugar plant - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
7. Fully Retractable - Soul Coughing - El Oso
8. Get Along - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
9. Grey Ghost - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
10. Houston - Soul Coughing - El Oso
11. I failed to use it - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
12. I hear the bells - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
13. I miss the girl - Soul Coughing - El Oso
14. Looking at the world from the bottom of a well - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
15. Madeline & Nine - Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
16. Misinformed - Soul Coughing - El Oso
17. Real Love / It's only Life - Mike Doughty - Skittish
18. Rising Sign - Mike Doughty - Skittish
19. Sleepless - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
20. So Far I Have Not Found A Science - Soul Coughing - El Oso
21. Soft Serve - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss
22. Ways + Means - Mike Doughty - Rockity Roll
23. Where have you Gone? - Mike Doughty - Skittish
Now I had to cut a lot to make that fit and it was not very easy.
Moving on.
My sister graduated today. I knew she would do it but she seemed to have some doubters. Maybe I just give her too much credit. I have to tell you seeing her in that cap and gown made me think back to my graduation and what was going through my mind. What would change? Where was I going? Did I really have to get my shit together now? It was very strange being at a graduation 8 years after my own. She looked like a woman though I will say that. My little sister is not so little anymore it's not such an easy thing to take. Maybe I should have set a better example... or maybe I should have set a worse example to show her what not to do I don't' know and who really does? What will I do in the case of my own son? How will I keep him out of the influence and put him on a path to success?........
I am curious as to how many readers actually made it this far. I know I have a tendency to ramble and my mind wanders. Its just the grey ghost that I call home.
Pasta for 1. It sounds so wrong but I need to fake the will to get along. I have made my happy home on the hill. It just feels so empty 90% of the time. Just me no dog no wife mostly no kids just me and my pasta for 1. Only problem is the Recipe always calls for 4 and that is something that has fucked with my head now for awhile. (NOTE: I Left this in the blog because it says a lot about the way I was feeling when I originally wrote this but this part has changed DRAMATICALLY)
I've got the will to drive myself sleepless. I like to make lists. Everything I do I could make a list for. As long as I type it and not write it out by hand I know what I am talking about. Someone recently looked at one of my lists that was hand written and asked, "What is 1 Don Andrew?" It actually said, "iPod adaptor" Nice. Guess I got scratched by a chicken in my youth. This actually happend on Court's wedding day so lets talk about that in the next chapter.....
Court AKA DOxOption AKA ORT, This Guy... can be described in 2 and only 2 words. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH BUDDY!!!!!!!!" I used to hang with this kid way back when. In fact me Court and Nick were inseparable and an easier time in life. We would hang out at the Larson's house listening to DOWNSET and Minor Threat and get all riled up. On one fatefully day Nick took it a bit far and decided Court should be caned. The mark exits to this day. I have so many memories of these kids from Ski-Blitz to grafiti to amateur computer crimes. I taught Court how to type for Christ's sake and even introduced him to his first BBS. DOx For life son. I am glad you did it. Sara is a good woman for putting up with your shit. Court and Sara what a cute couple I have just one more story to tell about these 2 fools. One night (Halloween 06) I accompanied them to a Halloween party of which I didn't know a single person there except for those 2. They went as Mario and Princess I went as a Crayon it was adorable. After a long night of drinking Court couldn't stand anymore and wanted to fight everyone (nothing unusual so far) I decided it would be best if I drove the big ass Nissan home since Court and Sara were both covering 1 eye to walk. Unfortunately for me they decided to fight and argue the entire way home. You see Sara wanted to go to a bar (Even know it was way past last call) and Court wanted to go home. I was driving and wanted to go home so I won. About half way home just as I was about to yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!" *poof* instant silence and then... Court began to snore I looked in the back seat to say "Hey Sara look Court fought with you until he passed out" but the funny thing was She was passed out and drooling herself. The cutest thing ever the couple had fought themselves to sleep. They were made for each other.
I don't mind worry following me like a dinosaur. I have come to realize that I am going to have to live my life fighting with my own mind and a fair amount of worry and stress over nothing. I am my own worst enemy. What do I stress the worst? What I mean to all of you. I worry so much that I am sitting here in this big house by myself and nobody is thinking of me or wondering what I am doing. "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down" The truth is I have a lot of Great people in my life. I think about most of you non-stop and what you have meant to my life and my journey. There is no way I could go without a single one of you. I do not want to De-cathect. I need this. What happened to the steps and the list we were getting so far until my mind got involved. I would like to float again.
My younger brother finally got that DUI that most of you were expecting. He hit a parked semi and the semi moved at least 4 feet. The driver reported "no survivors" The ambulance cut my brother out of the car with the Jaws of life and took him to the hospital, broken bones, stitches and a bloody t-shirt. He is ok but sadly it doesn't even phase him. I fear I will lose him soon. He's not struck dumb he's just dumb that's all. When do you give up hope on family? You really never can. I worry about both of my brothers and my sister and I wonder about my mother that worries about us all. The odds of survival for any of us are slim. So far we are 4 for 4 though. Knock Knock Wood.
Well that's it kids. That's all I have to say. A whole lot of nothing I hope I have killed your time effectively. When you are down and out just remember these words, "It's only money. You can always make more tomorrow"
<3 Dave
Tug-O-Man-O-War
I have come to realize (although a little late in the game) life is simply a game of decision making. There is no reason to get angry or upset about anything really. Look at the decisions facing you in a situation and pick one. If you pick wrong (if there is such a thing as wrong in this case) then you must look at the decisions that the first has put in front of you and decide between them. When the people we love do things that we don't like it is really not up to us to try and change them. Its up to us to decide if we will be around to tollerate it or go another direction. If your career path suddenly changes because of the media, yelling at the television and blaming your financial state on the news is not a path to solution or destruction its just a thing you are doing and therefore not really a part of life in my opinion. Events will happen no matter how hard you try to swim upstream the water will still run powerfully in the same direction. Its time to jump in the raft of life and go with the flow, when the river forks you will know your alive. Whatever you are left with at the end of the day... Well thats the choice pyrmid you have built. Stand strong and proud on top of it.
=2cents
=2cents
With the look in the eyes
Something amazing happend to me the other day and I haven't spoken of it to this point even to the most important people in my life (Rikki & Kayden). It's not that I was ashamed or embarrased or scared that I didn't share this unique moment in my life. It was not that I was shy or excited or even trying to hide something. The fact is I haven't slept well since the "incident" and I really just wanted to put a little more thought into before I brought it out into the world. However the problem that I have had is that I have put hours of thought into it and I can't put my finger on exactly what happend so my only option is to write about it and see if I can draw the answer out here.
So what exactly happened? It started with a dream. A series of dreams actually. I have been having a similar dream with minor differences for a week or so. It starts out with me watching myself sleep and I am trying to see something. I am not exactly sure what it is I think is going to happen or what it is I think I am going to see. Not quiet as exciting as you thought it would be is it? That's pretty much the whole dream. I stand or maybe I am not even standing just outside my body looking in on myself. These dreams bothered me because I couldn't figure out 1. Why they were reoccuring and 2. What exactly did it mean? I spent a few days trying to figure this out obviously some changes in my life were taking place deep in my subconscious mind and being the Capricorn that I am I wanted to get a jump start on them. After a few thoughts and theory's that didn't quite stick or seem to make much sense, I gave up and went on with my days.
Ok here is where it gets a little wierd so if you thought I was a normal person before this, (you obviously don't know me very well) then you should just stop reading now because your opinon of me could be forever skewed.
Still here?
It happened. The dream actually happend but I was not asleep. I was at work and for some fragment of time that I can't even measure, for as long as it took me to realize it somewhere between instant and less than 1 second, I saw myself. This was very brief like a flash or even shorter. It just was and then it wasn't. Maybe it only happened in my mind or maybe it was the amount of thought I had put into the dream but real or not I was on the outside looking in. The manifestation of this dream (even if it was possibly only a day dream) has brought so many questions to my mind. Tonight I went to dinner with 2 people that I love to be around and usually can't stop talking when I am around either one of them. I think I was unusually silent. I can't get my mind off of this and yet I can't quite wrap my mind around it. Now I question and ponder. Was it real? Was it a dream so real that I belive it actually happened? Or am I trying to tell myself to take a deep look at myself. To step aside and look into my soul through another pair of eyes.
Well there it is. Out there to the world. In case you are curious writing it all out didn't actually answer any questions for me, infact it actually created more.
More to come I suppose.
=Dave
So what exactly happened? It started with a dream. A series of dreams actually. I have been having a similar dream with minor differences for a week or so. It starts out with me watching myself sleep and I am trying to see something. I am not exactly sure what it is I think is going to happen or what it is I think I am going to see. Not quiet as exciting as you thought it would be is it? That's pretty much the whole dream. I stand or maybe I am not even standing just outside my body looking in on myself. These dreams bothered me because I couldn't figure out 1. Why they were reoccuring and 2. What exactly did it mean? I spent a few days trying to figure this out obviously some changes in my life were taking place deep in my subconscious mind and being the Capricorn that I am I wanted to get a jump start on them. After a few thoughts and theory's that didn't quite stick or seem to make much sense, I gave up and went on with my days.
Ok here is where it gets a little wierd so if you thought I was a normal person before this, (you obviously don't know me very well) then you should just stop reading now because your opinon of me could be forever skewed.
Still here?
It happened. The dream actually happend but I was not asleep. I was at work and for some fragment of time that I can't even measure, for as long as it took me to realize it somewhere between instant and less than 1 second, I saw myself. This was very brief like a flash or even shorter. It just was and then it wasn't. Maybe it only happened in my mind or maybe it was the amount of thought I had put into the dream but real or not I was on the outside looking in. The manifestation of this dream (even if it was possibly only a day dream) has brought so many questions to my mind. Tonight I went to dinner with 2 people that I love to be around and usually can't stop talking when I am around either one of them. I think I was unusually silent. I can't get my mind off of this and yet I can't quite wrap my mind around it. Now I question and ponder. Was it real? Was it a dream so real that I belive it actually happened? Or am I trying to tell myself to take a deep look at myself. To step aside and look into my soul through another pair of eyes.
Well there it is. Out there to the world. In case you are curious writing it all out didn't actually answer any questions for me, infact it actually created more.
More to come I suppose.
=Dave
Do you remember?
Do you remember the moment that we forgot to give a fuck about anything? When we couldn't wrap our minds around the war in Iraq or the collapsing dollar. When inflation and gas prices were something we just didn't think about. When we took a stand and said "Who cares if the economy is in trouble". Do you remember the time you laughed because you got laid off, or cheered because your girlfriend broke up with you? Do you remember the time when a minor set back was not the end of the world? How about when food storage and earthquake insurance just didn't matter?
I don't remember either.
Recently someone told me that time is the only currency we have. He was right. Perspective forms time and I think perspective is good. How can you know what financial Independence feels like if you have never had your back broken by a collapsing mountain of bill collectors? How can you know what true love is if you have never known the heartache of your soul mate walking away? Can you really feel great without having ever spent days and days laid up in bed. You can't. Anything that is wrong in your life right now is a lesson in time. In time all will change. Wounds will heal economies will come and go it's all up and down and the down allows the up. When things are looking bleak it's a sign.. Slow down and learn before things get good and it's just too late.
-Dave
I don't remember either.
Recently someone told me that time is the only currency we have. He was right. Perspective forms time and I think perspective is good. How can you know what financial Independence feels like if you have never had your back broken by a collapsing mountain of bill collectors? How can you know what true love is if you have never known the heartache of your soul mate walking away? Can you really feel great without having ever spent days and days laid up in bed. You can't. Anything that is wrong in your life right now is a lesson in time. In time all will change. Wounds will heal economies will come and go it's all up and down and the down allows the up. When things are looking bleak it's a sign.. Slow down and learn before things get good and it's just too late.
-Dave
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